A Message from Val

The original idea of having a website and what we envisioned at that time is not happening. It’s been 16 months since the launching of this site and we are not moving forward – we are falling backward.

When Max and I talked about doing this I remember giving him my honest opinion about what I thought the success would be. I told him he is loved around the web by all. Me, not so much. He could post ‘I would love nothing more than for every member of congress to be shot in the head and their carcasses eaten by feral cats’ and get 89 upvotes. I could post the same exact thing and get 235 downvotes, accused of being an attention whore, a terrorist, an ugly, hateful person and most likely be banned. This is why I wanted to be in the background, the unknown manager of the site, just a poster like everyone else. He would draw more posters alone than throwing me in the mix. Then we added more hands in the pot and that idea went to hell.

The other agreement was Max giving me the authority to ban the fucks. We created this site so people could come and post freely without the fear of being banned for saying ‘Soros’ or ‘shoot’…so people could type the name ‘Val’…so people could call Hillary a vile cunt whore. Me and Max were probably the most banned duo in Disqus history…just for saying what we wanted to say. However, I was not going to have the very people who have verbally abused, stalked and harassed me for years coming to a site I was running and having that same ability. This led to people asking, “well, that person’s a nice person, why can’t she post here” – or “he’s not that bad – he’s a Christian!”.  “So what if she hates you – she doesn’t hate me.” My experience with the fucks and your experiences with the fucks are not the same. We didn’t want a shit show. We didn’t always succeed but we did a hell of a lot better than any other site.

Looking back at it all, I was the right person to get Max motivated and energized to do the site, I was the right person to maintain the site and making it fun and lively, but I was not the right person to enforce ‘rules’ among ‘friends’.  I realized I was spending most of my time trying to put out fires created by others (or sometimes even myself), or putting up with texts, DM’s, phone calls, at all hours of the night saying “we need to ban this person” or “if you don’t ban this person, I’m leaving” – the list goes on. Not fun.

Max has made it clear that this site isn’t one of his top priorities. I get that 100%. We weren’t expecting the COVID bullshit when we first began. That alone put Max into 14–16-hour workdays. He has a wife, two small children and a newborn. He’s going to school at night. It wouldn’t be my top priority either. There is also a three-hour time difference between us. That doesn’t help when he’s able to talk at 10:00 pm but it’s 1 am at my end. The plan when it became just Max and I running this site again was for him to post stories at certain times and then I would do my share. It didn’t work out that way. It literally became “Val…this is your baby now. If you can’t do it, there isn’t going to be a Conservatics.”

I gladly took it on, knowing there would be a light at the end of the tunnel.  However, after 16 months, I’m not seeing the light. It’s not fun for me anymore. I cannot make everyone happy. I cannot break up arguments. I do not want to be in the middle of it all. I’m not one to hold back – although I have tried very hard – but I usually say what I have to say…and move on. I have hurt people’s feelings. I don’t like doing that…at least not to people I like. Other people I don’t really give a fuck; well, sometimes, I do, but they will never get the pleasure of knowing that.

All of this is strictly volunteer and it’s a lot to put up for free. I have lost ‘friends’ over this. I have discovered deep mental disturbances in others. I have discovered who friends never really were. I have discovered new ‘friends’. It has been an experience – but I’m burnt out.

I know without me, there is no Conservatics and that’s a lot of pressure to be put on someone who is sensitive by nature, a people pleaser and gives 100% in all she does. I just don’t want to do it anymore…at least not all by myself.

We’ve lost too many good posters and they keep dropping off. Is it my fault? Who knows? Most of these people who claim to be friends just up and leave without saying why or goodbye…so who really knows. I’m sure it’s going to be all my fault when the news starts spreading. The rumors – I can’t wait.

Speaking of rumors, it doesn’t help that you have ‘well known’ posters on other sites accusing me of being a professional doxer, of being TBONE, of Max being a violent Mormon, none of us being Christians, all fake Trump supporters and doing all they can to prevent others from coming to the site. Trust me – if I were a professional doxer, I’d be posting a hell of a lot more information than someone’s name. I don’t half-ass anything and I certainly wouldn’t be a half-ass doxer. I’m literally laughing at all the things I’ve heard being said about me and Max. It’s insane.

I’ve been posting about politics and news since Disqus started in 2007. It was fun. I joked around,  verbally killed the trolls, was able to voice my opinions – and that’s what I want to do again. I want to have fun.

The risk I’m taking by leaving here is being able to do that. I know I’m safe at Conservatics. I don’t know where I’m banned, boycotted or unwelcomed anymore…and if I’m not how long it will be until I am.

People in general suck. They truly do.

I’m blabbing. I’m boring myself.

I just don’t like all of this weight on my shoulders and being responsible for making it all work. I don’t like that CD, Brick, Das Velk, Morti, Ken and my sidekick Tiger are gone…I’m sure there are others, but I can’t think right now so don’t be offended if I left you out.

Having the country being destroyed right before our eyes isn’t helping anything either.

I just wanted to let you all know where I’m at. Maybe something can be resolved, and it will all work itself out – but I don’t want to be the one and only reason this site exists. I don’t want that responsibility any longer. Maybe this is the time for communication…maybe it has run its course. I don’t know.

I love most of you – as much as you can love a personality behind an avatar.