Yes, this a real product. Yeah. It’s a ridiculous-looking Groucho-style air filter you wear over your schnoz all day long. So that the air you breathe in through your nose is cleaner and less virus-y. Because nowadays everything is trying to kill you, remember?

Oh this next video … vomit warning:

These things make it look like either you’re recovering from a nose job or you’re about to break into the Humpty Dance circa 1990. 👃

An actual clown nose.

One of the most insufferable parts about this is that they’re trying to make this absurd plastic beak look like some sort of high-fashion designer accessory. It’s so bad. I swear to you this is not satire … they’re from the company’s Instagram account:

Just when you thought we couldn’t get any softer, or more neurotic, or more hypochondriacal … welp, I’m sorry.