Dripping with desperation, Bowman’s office released a document — first reported by Politico — titled “MESSAGING GUIDANCE: Supporting Congressman Jamaal Bowman After Accidental Fire Alarm” aimed at getting his fellow Capitol Hill Democrats behind him to defend what has become a clearly indefensible act.

No one in the history of D.C. politics (or likely the world) has pulled a fire alarm thinking that was the way to open a door. Especially not in a building where Bowman has been working for years. Nor as someone who used to work as the principle of a school at which pulling a fire alarm when no fire exists was punishable with at least a ten-day suspension and as much as expulsion.

So scrambling to take the heat off of himself, Bowman’s office suggested Democrats in Congress asked about the situation choose from a list of “suggested talking points” to back up their colleague-under-fire ranging from the literally unbelievable to the utterly absurd.

Here’s a sampling of what Bowman wants his colleagues to say about Bowman’s apparent caught-on-tape breach of DC and federal laws:

  • “Itʼs clear my colleague Congressman Bowman was simply rushing to the floor to cast his vote to prevent a shutdown and support working class families.”
  • “House Republicans are obviously trying to distract from the fact they cannot govern and that they nearly shut down the federal government for no reason.”
  • “I believe Congressman Bowman when he says this was an accident. Republicans need to instead focus their energy on the Nazi members of their party before anything else.”
  • “There are multiple insurrectionist supporters in Congress and more who supported a coup and support Trumpʼs Big Lie. Thatʼs what they should be focused on. Instead their focus on Rep. Bowman is an attempt to minimize January 6th.”

Ah yes, the old “Republicans are enforcing the law and holding people accountable for their actions because they’re Nazis” turn of phrase.

If it wasn’t already clear that Bowman and his office have no real defense for his false alarm, it is now.

UPDATE: Following reporting on Bowman’s “messaging guidance” the congressman responded, claiming the term “Nazi” was used without his “consent.”