People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to first lady Jill Biden on Monday urging her to “modernize” the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.

“Instead of promoting the deleterious factory farming and slaughter industries, will you please initiate the annual White House Potato Roll?” asked PETA President Ingrid Newkirk, noting that the change would be more “inclusive and welcomed by every tot who doesn’t eat eggs for religious, cultural, or environmental reasons or because they object to the way animals, including hens whose reproductive systems are exploited for eggs, are raised and killed these days.”

Newkirk continued: “Easter is not a time of renewal or joy for chickens on egg factory farms. It can take up to 36 hours in typically hellish conditions for a hen—who spends her entire life in a cage smaller than a letter-sized sheet of paper—to produce just one of the thousands of eggs slated to be used at the White House Easter Egg Roll. In starch contrast, a potato roll wouldn’t exploit any sentient beings and would encourage empathy and kindness to animals while supporting potato farmers in the U.S. Potatoes are the most popular vegetable in the country and can be safely dyed, allowing for spudtacular traditional activities, such as rolling them, seeking for them, and decorating them. You could even hold potato sack races and games of hot potato!”

The suggestion was met with widespread mockery on social media.

“The far-left is beyond satire at this point,” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). “I thought this was a Babylon Bee headline when I read it.”



 

If you want to play….

 

NCAA Brackets