Since Obama took office in 2008, we have been celebrating ‘Shoot-A-Thug-Burn-A-City’ month. This is where members of Black Lives Matter burn down cities because a thug was shot by a police officer.

Each year, SATBAC starts roughly 10 days earlier because the lunar year is shorter than the solar year. It has also metastasized from a month-long duration to a seasonal duration – spring and summer.

It’s warming up around the country earlier and earlier each year because of climate change. As you know, climate change was founded by white slave owners…white slave owners who are your ancestors. If you’re white, the timing of SATBAC is your fault. Actually, if you’re white, everything wrong in the world is your fault.

Warm weather means more crime. More crime means more shootings. More shootings = SATBAC. With the exception of Chicago, IL, there is no American city immune from SATBAC. Depending on the race of the thug and the race of the killer cop, it’s sporadically celebrated nationwide.

So sit back. SATBAC is here!